Tuesday, June 15

Michelle Obama’s words to live by for a long-term relationship: Steer clear of Tinder

Michelle Obama, former first lady of the United States, has been making fans with her new podcast series which covers a number of topics.

In the latest episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast, she along with Conan O’Brien discuss their respective marriages as they gave advice to those in relationships currently.

Michelle recalled her relationship with Barack Obama and how she always knew that their relationship would eventually lead to marriage. However, the former US president was unsure of the idea owing to the rocky marriage that his parents had.

O’Brien too joined in, saying he wasn’t ready to settle down with his wife Liza Powell until well into his 30s.

“The same is true for me, and I think, a man’s inclination to wait and to kind of go out there and search and get himself ready, I think is a good instinct that more young women should think about,” said Michelle.

She went on to propose that finding the right match should be equivalent to assembling an all-star basketball team: “We’d have better marriages because if you’re looking at a team, the people you want to win with, then number one you want everybody on your team to be strong, right?”

“You don’t want any weak links, you don’t want somebody that you can dominate, you don’t want somebody who’s kind of a loser. Also, if you’re on a team, you’ve got to be able to do everything, especially in basketball, it’s like, you would never pick somebody that says, ‘I only dribble. I don’t shoot, I don’t defend, I just dribble.'”

“You want LeBron [James]. You don’t want the guy, third row on the bench, who didn’t make the team, but we often don’t think about that. What you’re supposed to say, is, ‘I have married LeBron. My version of LeBron,’” she added.

“There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window. And I say that, because it’s like you’ve got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn’t mean you quit. And these periods can last a long time. They can last years,” Obama continued.

“But we don’t talk about that, so young couples, they face these challenges, and they’re ready to give up because they think they’re broken. And, I just want to say, look, if that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage,” she said.

“And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would’ve missed all the beauty that was there as well,” she added.

She extended some advice to young people, asking them to steer clear of dating apps like Tinder which will do no good to their love lives: “Do you want to build something with someone? There’s no magic way to make that happen, except getting the basics of finding somebody, being honest about wanting to be with them, to date them seriously, to plan on making a commitment, to date them, seeing where it goes, and then making it happen.”

“You can’t Tinder your way into a long term relationship,” she concluded. 

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